Grammar purist that I am, I never thought I’d see the day when I would use “friend” as a verb. Then Facebook came into my life.
The downside of social media is not insignificant. But the beauty of Facebook and similar sites is that they bring your entire social network together in one place. “Friend” someone and you can automatically follow the minutia of their daily lives without actually having to drop them an email or pick up the phone. It’s pretty great, because while you may not have enough in common with someone from third grade to justify an ongoing email correspondence, you may still be interested in following their links to funny videos or to download their favorite cheesecake recipe.
On the other hand… sometimes there is a reason you fell out of touch with these people in the first place. Their status updates, including tidbits about “liking” a politician, celebrity, or cause that you abhor, can quickly bring home to you why you are no longer friends in the 3-D world.
But that’s okay. Social networking sites are not about deep, personal friendships. They’re not even really about friends, in the strictest sense of the word. Rather, they’re about belonging, and being part of a community. In the same way you don’t have to know or like everyone at a party in order to have a good time (personally, I just need Chex Mix and white wine), you don’t have to be close to all of your Facebook “friends” to get a lot out of the experience.
It’s not surprising that Facebook and Twitter exploded in popularity around the time of Jupiter’s dance with Neptune in Aquarius (January 2009 – January 2010). After all, Aquarius is the sign of friendship. Not the kind of committed, intimate partnerships that are the purview of Libra and Scorpio; rather, Aquarius’ realm is community, networks, people who on some level share our interests. We may have shared the same grade school teachers, employment with a particular company, or interest in a sport, career, or hobby. If we’ve crossed paths with a person – even if we’re just colleagues who once visited one another’s websites – that’s the basis for an Aquarian relationship.
Facebook does provide the infrastructure to renew sweet old connections that were once important to us. The other day, an email interchange with a dear high school classmate and new Facebook “friend” left me in happy tears. “Reconnecting with you,” I wrote to him, “is like reclaiming a little bit of my heart.” And it’s true. We live in different cities far away from one another, and our lives have become so different that I doubt we’d see each other much if we suddenly found ourselves living in the same town again. But that man, like so many of my Facebook friends, retains custody of bits of my personal history. Touching base with them returns me to myself.
But most of my Facebook connections are light, breezy, and fun. Perhaps the distancing quality of computers allows us to extend ourselves to one another cheerfully, without fear of being deeply hurt or inveigled in a more demanding relationship. This intriguing blend of goodwill and aloofness is one I often associate with Aquarius. I’ll never forget the time I was visiting a friend (not an Aquarian, but someone with the Moon in the 11th house) and went to the supermarket with him. I turned my back for a moment and he had disappeared. I found him a few minutes later in the next aisle, chattering warmly in animated Spanish (not his first language) to a young couple. As we said goodbye and walked away, I asked him who his friends were. “Oh, they’re not friends of mine,” he answered. “I’d never seen them before in my life!”
He’d “friended” them, you see, right there in the aisle of a supermarket. It’s likely he never saw them again, but that wasn’t the point of the interaction. Aquarius’ talent lies in those friendly connections with others who cross our paths – the relational grease that keep society’s gears moving smoothly and that joins us in together in collective identity, purpose, and responsibility.
Aquarius is a gregarious and social sign that is often misunderstood. These people have a gift for making you feel like the most important and fascinating person in the room, and then they’re suddenly gone, sometimes leaving hurt feelings in their wake. For me, the key to enjoying Aquarius energy in my life is realizing that for those few minutes, they really do think I’m fascinating, and they do feel great friendship for me. And when they’re gone – well, maybe we’ve made a connection that will build into something deeper over time. This has happened with a few of my Facebook connections, who began as colleagues about whom I knew little but who are now real friends. Such bonds don’t happen with everyone, of course, but social networks of all kinds provide fertile soil in which they might grow, if other conditions are right.
But even when they don’t, I’m left with the feeling that an Aquarian society – full of smiles and goodwill, and the sense that we’re all in this community, this supermarket, this world together – would be a pretty happy one in which to live. So at this New Moon in Aquarius, why not “friend” someone – whether on Facebook, or in line at the supermarket. There’s no obligation to develop a life-long, symbiotic relationship with everyone you meet – just the willingness to embrace everyone who crosses your path as a fellow traveler.
© 2010, 2015 April Elliott Kent
All rights reserved
