Getting my computer problem fixed wasn’t quite as easy as Peter made it sound, of course. First I had to go another round with The Gatekeepers: a different agent and his supervisor, who were determined to shift the blame for my laptop’s spectacular demise to me. I stood my ground, and I don’t know what it was (My polite but firm manner? My subtle hint that smouldering computers had proven to be something of a legal liability for some of their competitors?), but the next day a representative phoned and confirmed that the laptop would be fixed at no charge. Triumphant in victory, I resisted the impulse to retort, “You’re damn right it will!” Somehow, I felt it would be… unsportsmanlike.
Sadly, no amount of haggling with customer service representatives can fix things for my neighbor, a dear friend who, I learned today, is quickly dying. It’s not completely unexpected – she’s in her 90s – but she’s defied the odds so many times over the past few years that it’s a hard to believe she’s leaving us. With all the female elders of my family pretty much gone, I’ve grown especially attached to her in recent years, and she’ll be sorely missed. There’s some guilt, too, that I’ve indulged myself in preoccupation over trivial things in recent weeks and haven’t gotten over for a visit, so I didn’t know her cancer had returned with a vengeance. But of course, that’s much more my loss than hers; she has been surrounded by her loved ones, thank goodness, while I’ve been foolishly missing out on her wisdom, spunk, and inspiring attitude.
That’s it. I haven’t any grand philosophical statements about it; I’m just sad, is all. Transiting Venus in Cancer returned to its position in my birth chart today, and all afternoon I’ve been reminded of a rather poignant episode of Sex and the City called “My Motherboard, My Self.” In that episode two very different storylines – the death of Carrie’s computer (and what it taught her about her need for independence) and the death of Miranda’s mother – illustrated a common (and rather Cancerian) theme: the difficulty of close relationships, of relying on people, because when you do, it hurts to lose them.
It’s a sad reality that even the best, most enduring relationships have the same punchline: in the end, someone is going to leave – by dying, if nothing else – and someone is going to get left. Those are the rules of engagement, right? But I suppose it doesn’t prevent us irrationally hoping that somehow, we’ll be the ones who figure out how to beat the system.
