Because genetics and fate seem to share a wry sense of humor, a great many of us find ourselves born into families with people whose views diverge sharply from our own. If you’re like me, you find this particularly difficult because while you have strong convictions, you were also raised to be polite and to avoid confrontation.
My family and I love each other; we want to enjoy the little time we get to spend together. After so many years, we all know the rules—what we can talk about and what we can’t. As long as we stay on neutral ground, we can enjoy our time together. Sometimes, we’re even able to wiggle our toes in deeper waters, carefully broaching the subject of our differences, and even laughing about the hard-headedness that we share in common.
But generally, it tends to be a fairly Gemini kind of relationship that results from this kind of compromise. Light and shallow, full of reminiscences and shared old jokes. Not that I particularly mind; I was born with the Moon in Gemini, and truth be told, I prefer to keep things on this kind of level most of the time. Light. Entertaining. Witty. Always moving. Loving, for sure, but not too intimate.
But at this Full Moon/Lunar Eclipse in Sagittarius, the sign of deep convictions noisily expressed, I find myself wondering about all the parts of myself that have to be sacrificed in order to keep my Gemini Moon feeling safe, over in the shallow end of the pool. Born with Sagittarius rising and a full ninth house, I am as much a Sagittarius at heart as I am a Leo Sun or a Gemini Moon. What I believe about this world and the next is as big a part of my life as my family’s beliefs are a part of theirs. And yet, I tend to think of myself not as someone who is committed to a strong spiritual center, but rather as someone who is constantly darting and weaving to avoid being ensnared by another’s strong opinions.
This kind of guarded, careful relationship used to be the kind I had with almost everyone. There was a time too many of the relationships in my life were dependent on “making nice” and keeping things on a surface level. But if we’re too Gemini-flexible, too facile at darting and weaving our way through interactions with people who see the world differently than we do, reluctant to stand for any one thing, then we risk forgetting who we really are. If we don’t tell the truth about how we see the world, how can we find empathetic others to share our journey?
At this Sagittarius Full Moon, the eclipse point at 15.24 Sagittarius strikes a sharp square aspect to Mars and Neptune in Pisces. In the middle of this bright and glittering Sun in Gemini season of light comedy, fleeting romance, and trashy novels, we’re reminded of the need to stand in our Sagittarian convictions and proudly embody them, without shame, guilt, or violence. “Enjoy your novels and your summer movies,” the Moon in Sagittarius instructs our Gemini selves, “But there is a time you can’t keep silent, matters so important that you must risk anger and discomfort to speak about them.”
However, the Moon’s South Node – the point of release, the housecleaning of the soul – is moving through Sagittarius. So over the next year and a half, we’re called to let go of the toxic byproducts of conviction – intolerance, and an unhealthy rigidity in our beliefs. For now, the road to personal growth is one of questioning, wondering, and listening. What we’ll discover, if we’re honest, is that we all have beliefs and convictions that are not serving us or the world very well. Here’s how we’ll recognize them: They will whisper to us that the world is too small, its gifts too scarce, to let its bounty be made available to everyone. That some of us are born better than others. That beliefs, especially those we inherited from our loved ones, are something you must never question.
Those unhealthy Sagittarian traits have to be released at this eclipse. But while we’re called upon to question even some of our fundamental beliefs, we’ll hold fast and take strength from those that tether us to what’s true and precious. The gift of the South Node in Sagittarius is that it provides a rich foundation of values to guide us in our exploration. It’s like the proud immigrant grandmother from the old country who sends the next generation out into the Gemini new world with the reminder, “Don’t forget where you came from.” As we set out on our questioning, North Node in Gemini path, we still need that dignified, self-assured matriarch to remind us from time to time of what is best about us, what is still and unchanging at the core of who we are. That confidence is what lets us float away from the safety and security of the shallow end of the pool, guides us into the deeper, still waters of understanding and belief, and helps us out when we get in over our heads.
© 2006-2020 April Elliott Kent
