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Thursday Thirteen, Vol. 20: I’m Not Myself.

thursday thirteen

13 Cases of Google-Induced
Mistaken Identity


Looking for April Kent? April Elliott? You may or may not have come to the right place! Just for the record:

  1. I’m not the actress best known for her role as pint-sized Clarice in “The Incredible Shrinking Woman,” although it would look awesome on my resume.
  2. I haven’t been 14 for, oh, 31 years or so. But I do write and sing, so it’s an easy mistake.
  3. Yikes! No, I’m not this 16-year-old fleeing a drug-riddled school in East Baton Rouge. Thank God. Good luck, kiddo!
  4. I’m not the Coordinator of Support Services at Emmanuel College, Boston, but darn it, good luck with those profession codes!
  5. I’m not the the owner of The Pond Headquarters in Acworth, Georgia, though props to her for creating that fall business!
  6. I’m not an environmentally conscious kindergarten teacher in Hopkinton, New Hampshire.
  7. I am not the new sales assistant for the Hilton Hartford, though I wish her well.
  8. I am not a judge for the Pinal County Superior Court Division 8, although I too graduated Magna Cum Laude, Your Honor.
  9. I am not the managing editor of The Morning Journal, a newspaper in Lorain, Ohio.
  10. I have never worked as a Scheduler for Rep. Hilda Solis, D-California-32nd. And damn girl, you deserve a raise.
  11. I am not married to anyone named Matt, and have not qualified as a “young adult” in about 25 years.
  12. I’m not an MD who lectures on Eating Disorders.
  13. I would never show up 15 minutes late to a Library Advisory Board meeting, missy!

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