This is PART 7 of 7. | Read the previous installment here
Don’t know how to find where an eclipse will fall in your birthchart? This post will help.
It’s perhaps a year since our protagonist made her dramatic leap of faith, throwing herself headlong into a bold new enterprise. The thrill of sleeping late and taking long lunches with her friends has worn off. She and her husband are beginning to notice the loss of the income she was earning at her job. And she finds it’s every bit as grueling to sit alone in a room writing all day, as it is to sit in an office hunched over spreadsheets.
The book is shaping up into something a little different than she had anticipated, and in exploring the motivations of her characters as she writes she is confronting some of her old demons as well. She catches herself brooding; she’s often troubled, for reasons she can’t quite explain to her husband. A good friend discovers a cancerous tumor; and in the face of her friends’s ordeal, our young woman feels increasingly ridiculous, sitting around in a room writing stories all day – and even more ridiculous for feeling increasingly depressed.
Her moods are straining her warm relationship with her husband. He applauds her compassion for her friend, but doesn’t understand why she seems to be taking it so personally. “You should be enjoying what you have,” he tells her, “instead of feeling guilty for having it.”
But that’s part of the problem, because more and more she’s feeling like nothing she has is really hers. She’s unaccustomed to being completely supported by someone else financially, and it makes her doubt she’s worth anything on her own. She might eventually be able to sell her book, but she is realistic enough to know that might be a long shot. So the crisis becomes, is my worth dependant on how much money I’m earning? Is the worth of anything I do accurately reflected by the money it can earn me
The questions of this natal eclipse cycle are among the most fundamental: who am I really, and is that of any intrinsic value? What’s important in life? Usually you’ll experience some level of psychological discomfort, as you’re tested in your resolve to pursue whatever you went after in the previous cycle, or sometimes through exposure to the illness or death of others. Usually, this cycle also introduces financial discomfort, because money, in our society, has come to define our self-worth; working through financial difficulties often clarifies for us our true self-worth, apart from our bank balance. And we must know what is valuable about us before we enter relationship with another—which is the promise of the new cycle ahead.
And what becomes to the young woman in our story? Well, maybe the financial strain weakens her marriage and she experiences real problems in this area as eclipses move back into the 1st and 7th houses. Maybe she completes her book and takes it out into the marketplace (7th house) during the next cycle. Maybe she just incorporates a whole new level of understanding of herself and what’s important, into her existing relationships, so that they became richer and more authentic.
© 1999 April Elliott Kent.
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