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Aquarius New Moon: Connections

Growing up as part of a big, loud, extended family, I spent a lot of time alone in my bedroom, reading, writing, or playing my guitar. I savored my privacy and the relative quiet of my little sanctuary.

But what made it possible for me to enjoy my time alone was knowing that just outside my bedroom door, there were laughing, loving people. It was comforting to know that whenever I wanted to, I could join the party.

As an adult, this is what I still love about my family – and about my friends, too. They leave me alone when I need solitude, but when I’m ready for socializing, I’m always welcome. With them, I always feel that there’s a place where I belong – and that makes me happy.

Astrologers say that friendship is ruled by Aquarius, but friends come in a variety of packages. Aquarius’ particular brand of friendship is not the close, intimate, occasionally dramatic bond between “best friends;” those relationships are part of Libra’s purview, along with marriage, business partners, and “frenemies.”

Aquarius-style friendships generally sidestep the high emotional stakes of those relationships. They are the mesh tank tops of relationships – loosely-knit alliances that keep us covered but let us breathe. They are the connections that let us feel like a part of society without losing our independence.

Aquarius is a sociable sign, but a freedom-loving one as well; and in your birth chart it prescribes plenty of breathing room. Astrologers often describe Aquarians as erratic and a little wild; these qualities are a good fit with Uranus, Aquarius’ ruling planet. But Aquarius’ traditional ruler is anything-but-crazy Saturn, and when someone with Aquarius strong in their chart suddenly drops out of sight one day, there’s nothing crazy about it. Aquarius needs air and space, and when they feel closed in by too many demands on their time and emotions, they’ll run as far away as they need to.

The Aquarian’s Key to Happiness

In the house in your chart where Aquarius lives, you can only be really happy when you’re able to enjoy other people in your own time and on your own terms. Here, you need to find the right balance between the chaos of sociability and the delicious, cool, certainty of solitude.

While the Sun is in Aquarius (each year between about January 22 and February 18), it shines a spotlight on the importance of happy, casual social connections based on shared interests. Under the glare of this spotlight you may notice, perhaps, where you’ve neglected the social pacts that keep these impersonal but vital relationships healthy. Keep your distance for too long and the connections and goodwill wither away – not from rancor or bitterness, but from a simple lack of nourishment and sunlight.

Social media often give us the feeling that we’re nurturing our social connections. Group action and collective participation certainly can and do happen in our online lives, and we have more ways than ever to keep in touch with our friends. But are those interactions as satisfying as the in-person gatherings that seemed more common even a decade ago? Maybe not. As ethnographer Sherry Turkle, author of Alone Together, said, “I think there are ways in which we’re constantly communicating and yet not making enough good connections.”

Have you been too long away from the little groups that fill your life with a sense of belonging? Missed too many weeks at church, perhaps, or too many neighborhood block parties? Passed up too many coffee breaks with your usual group of work friends?

How long can you neglect ties like these before they break? It varies from person to person, from group to group, but you know. You know when you begin to feel a lack of balance in your life, a paucity of happy, uncomplicated places where you can simply show up, be yourself, and have the sense that you belong there.

The good news is, these are amazingly resilient and forgiving relationships, and to reestablish them is so easy: All you have to do is show up. At this New Moon in Aquarius, it may be time to recommit to doing just that. It might mean tearing yourself away from a relaxing evening at home, following the world on Facebook. But that’s a pretty small price to pay for membership in a club that, as Aquarius knows, is vital to your happiness: the big, loud, extended family of the human race.

© 2013-2024 April Elliott Kent


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7 comments to " Aquarius New Moon: Connections "

  • Leah Shaver

    April, You had me at “the mesh tank top of relationships”! A priceless image! Hubby and I are in week three of four weeks in NZ. Our last two nights were in Greymouth and Fox Glacier which was beyond wonderful. For this trip I downloaded the facebook app to my phone so I could post photos, something I had never done before. I find that sharing highlights of the trip with facebook friends, and having their responses, makes me feel more connected to more people in a way you described as Aquarian. Good stuff. <3

  • Well. Yesterday I had a falling out. Was chatting with this guy for a month or so and than all of a sudden he’s upset with me because I choose not to exert myself to meet him in person. First of all, this new moon energy makes me realize that showing up, connecting and being present requires resources. Stamina. I have so very little right now (plus with the weather) I’m not interested in sex, meet ups, or coffee. I need a job. Which January for me was very productive in that department. I got more interviews than normal. And I got rejected by some. But there’s one in particular that I should be finding out about today perhaps tomorrow the latest. I really have my hopes set on it. It’s all about being part of he community and SERVICE. Service not only in pushing papers, but representing community morals. It’s a legislative assistant role for a state representive. I’ll attend events and interact not only with people in need but also people who have their privilege round tightly on their finger. I’m excited. I’m nervous. I’m afraid it’ll slip through the cracks because of my disregard to this Tinder connection that fizzled out and told me to F off. So I mean really, I very much prefer people to be patient with my poverty and not pin this systemic poison on me. I connect all the time. I’m selfish with my me time. And I don’t need to validate other people’s projections on who I am. I just really want to punch fear in the face and get rich. I’m so much happier rich because I been gratfeul long enough for the struggle blah blah blah. I’m over it.

    • April

      Bernard, I’m so sorry you’ve been having such a hard time of it. I really hope the legislative assistant role comes through for you – it sounds like a wonderful opportunity! xoxo

    • Helen Alksnys

      Bernard darling ~ i remember you – with all the colours… sorry short attention span (just remember colours) – YES!!! i see you filthy rich… holding the focus for that job being yours – seems perfect for you – energywise… guy blows you off so quick.. well.. i have only one four letter word for you “NEXT !” you deserve way better, esp in a relationship, esp for the long haul,. troo luv and all that… honey everybody is happier rich… me too, i am going for that too! remember sweets – this or something better…. relax the universe always delivers – expect the best xo 🙂 h

  • Karen

    Thanks April! I really needed to stop socializing after the demands of the Capricorn season and enter into the solitude I have been craving! I am happy to have a better understanding of how this New Moon is playing out in my life. It is so much easier to go with my inner flow than to resist it, please others and feel unhappy. Great stuff!

  • Crystal McCollough

    This post shed light on my Aquarius rising in a way I’ve never seen. I tend to have one or two very close relationships (moon in 7th) and I’ve always thought something is wrong with me that I don’t have all the besties I see everyone else having. But this made me realize I have a TON of these impersonal relationships. My barista, work peeps, etc, that although are mostly superficial, feel very fulfilling to me. And your opening fell close to home. I am a mother to 4 children. I will often be tucked in a corner reading or being reflective (Pisces sun) but hearing the boisterous noise and commotion is comforting to me. And yes, sometimes I’ll step out to join.

  • Tanya

    This was a very good article to read right before my progressed moon goes into Aquarius in a few weeks. Natally, I have a Taurus moon in the eleventh house so I think I often appear more emotionally connected then I really am (Cancer rising). I can sit in the room right in the middle of the commotion and may or may not know what’s going on…lol. However, as we know, Aquarius and Taurus square each other by sign and I’m concerned that this progressed moon will challenge me to show up, be connected and actually know what’s going on. Time will tell.

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