Full Moon in Aquarius: Loving the Alien

by April Elliott Kent

Who are “your people”? You recognize one another the moment you meet. They get your jokes. Your conversations have a cadence that is comfortable, familiar. Generally you share the same values, and probably the same politics. It doesn’t matter whether you’ve known each other a few minutes or many years, you get each other.

And then there are the Uncomfortable Others to whom you’re yoked by accidents of birth (relatives, countrymen), blips on your biographical timeline (high school, past employment), or shared interests. You may share an alma mater, a birthplace, a great-grandfather, or an interest in a particular hobby, but that’s no guarantee that you and another person are members of each other’s tribe.

Aquarius is the sign of “friends,” but not of those who are dearest to your heart. Rather, Aquarian friendships are born of shared interests – what we might call friendships of convenience. They are the co-workers who share your office lunchroom, the volunteers at your neighborhood polling place, and the members of your local astrology group. Occasionally, you will find among them members of your tribe, your people; these become your closest friends. The rest exist mostly in your Facebook newsfeed, email inbox, polling place, and at high school reunions.

Co-existing with these people can sometimes tax your patience and goodwill. Mars in emotional Cancer has been square Uranus and opposed Pluto this week, and I’ve been even crankier than usual. The unpalatable Facebook posts that I usually ignore have been rubbing me the wrong way. So over the course of a couple of days I’ve impatiently “defriended” some people from my past – a bellicose distant relative, a childhood friend whose life is so completely unlike mine that it’s impossible to feel any kinship with her.

It’s lonely to feel like an alien among people with whom you’re expected to feel a connection. I feel this way with nearly all of my blood relatives, the people I knew in the small town where I grew up, and about half the people with whom I went to school. I watch with envy as my sister visits our hometown and enjoys rich, happy reunions with relatives and neighbors, nearly all of whom share her religious and political views. I observe online prayer circles among old school friends with bemusement. We come from the same place, but these are not My People; we will never belong to the same tribe.

But here’s the funny thing. Sometimes, prolonged exposure to someone “alien” can lead us to find common ground. I have a neighbor who is as different from me ideologically as it’s possible to be, yet we trust each other with our homes, our pets, and our secrets. It didn’t happen overnight, but gradually, over the course of five or six years of circling each other, a little warily, and sizing up one another’s character – then slowly taking small steps toward trust, and ultimately affection. Without the “shared interest” of our neighborhood, this valued friendship might never have existed.

How Can We Co-Exist with Aliens – and Why Should We Bother?

It’s easy to love Our People, whose opinions and world view mirror our own. But they are few, and the population of the world comprises many. At a time when society is so fractured, and when isolating ourselves from the alien is so easy to do, how can we find a way to co-exist with others? And why should we bother?

The “why bother” question is easily answered. Aquarius is a sign of the collective, of those works of art, commerce, and political will that are beyond the reach of the individual. To tackle them requires more brain and brawn than individuals and our tribes possess. To achieve large aims, we need to unite with other tribes, in large numbers.

But the question of “how” is becoming more and more difficult to answer. In America, it used to seem that there was agreement among most people about many things. Now, we have not only found a way to disagree about practically everything, but to disagree in a tone that precludes any rapport, any sense of fraternity. I think it’s simply because the more we’re able to isolate ourselves from the Other, the less human and more alien they seem.

As my cranky Facebook purge shows, I can be as intolerant as anyone else. But there are still plenty of posts that show up in my Facebook feed with which I whole-heartedly disagree. They survived the purge because the friends behind them have also demonstrated kindness and support, have defended me or my loved ones, or simply state their case in a polite, well-reasoned way. They seldom persuade me to their point of view, but they do remind me that those who see the world differently than I do are not so alien after all. They’re my neighbor, or a colleague, or a friend from a distant era of my life – with values I respect and characteristics that I enjoy.

At the Leo New Moon, we celebrated selfhood and the ability to generate love and creative action in the world. At this Full Moon in Aquarius, the challenge is to join with others to create collective creativity, to pursue aims that extend beyond our tribes, our society, and the current moment in history. It’s a challenge that requires each of us, in our own way, to cultivate tolerance for those who may not be “our people,” but who are still, after all, people. It requires that we find a way to love the alien.

© 2011 April Elliott Kent All right reserved.

Want to learn more about the Full Moon, about Aquarius, and about a whole lot of astrological matters from the signs of the zodiac to prediction? Order my new book The Essential Guide to Practical Astrology – now available from Alpha Books/Penguin!