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Leo Full Moon/Lunar Eclipse: Make Your Own Kind of Music
byApril
Elliott Kent
Chalk it up to a Leo-heavy birth chart: I tend to feel
uncomfortable in a crowd. But as my progressed Moon has
moved through Aquarius for the past couple of years, I’ve
become downright gregarious. After years of dragging me
kicking and screaming to social events, my sociable Libra
husband has been flabbergasted to find me instigating
parties and outings with friends. I even accepted an appointment
to the board of my local astrology group. For awhile,
all this socializing actually catalyzed my creativity.
But lately, between the socializing and the day-to-day
demands of work, both my creative and physical energy
have dimmed a bit. It’s as though I’ve been trying to
jumpstart my battery with the jumper cables attached to
the wrong terminals.
At this Full Moon eclipse, four planets and the moon’s
North Node are moving through Aquarius, the sign of
friends and social networks. Especially with convivial
Jupiter in Aquarius, the temptation is strong to replace
a work-jammed calendar with more social engagements than
usual. But even if you’re naturally extroverted, filling
your days and evenings with appointments, phone calls,
emails, and parties may eventually cause your vitality
to flag. We all need time on our own to "re-create"
– to feed the Solar/Leo self. For some, it’s relatively
easy to recognize the signs of social fatigue and take
happy refuge in the studio, the kitchen, or whatever space
we’ve carved out for creative ventures. But some of us
are not so lucky and have a hard time finding the way
back to our own creative hearts – may not, in fact, have
ever discovered them in the first place.
Even the most well meaning parents may neglect the playful,
creative side of their children, focused as they are on
preparing their kids to succeed in an increasingly competitive
world. And for all children, peer pressure and the desire
to fit in can dampen creative expression. Where my husband
comes from they call it "Tall Poppy Syndrome":
anyone who tries to stand out from the crowd gets cut
down to size. For women, in particular – naturally
attuned as we are to lunar rhythms – tapping into the
Solar self can be difficult. Everything in our culture
urges us to master the arts of relationship and attraction
rather than pursuing the independent path of a creative
"tall poppy."
When I was younger, I watched many women project their
Solar selves, their creative, intellectual, and even spiritual
urges, onto men. I had friends who would only date artists
or musicians – even when their gifts were accompanied
by drug use, financial irresponsibility, or infidelity.
I saw a lot of women like this throughout my years as
a musician, hanging around backstage waiting to meet the
guitarist or the drummer, and they baffled me. Partly
it was because having worked with so many musicians, they
held no romantic mystery for me. But I also felt that
many women who were obsessed with artists were really
missing out on something special: the thrill, validation,
and power that come from creation and performance. I couldn’t
imagine that romantic involvement with musicians, writers,
or athletes would be nearly as satisfying. Better to
feed your own creative Leo lionness, I thought - to
become the musician, the writer, the athlete.
But my dirty little secret was that I’d become a musician
not just for the satisfaction of self-expression, but
because I was a social misfit without a lot of other options.
Unlike the girls who hung around backstage at the clubs
where my band played, who traveled in tight, homogeneously
attractive groups, I didn’t fit in. And to be honest,
I envied – still envy – women who "fit in."
Even now I often feel out of place at a bridal shower
or girl’s night out.
Those of us with untapped Aquarius energy wander through
life feeling as though we missed school on the very important
day when social networking skills were taught. Humans
are social animals, and it’s threatening to be unable
to find a place in one’s pack. We’re hard-wired to crave
the very Aquarian experience of belonging. But
if fitting in means surrendering the ideas, gifts, and
self-expression that are uniquely ours, our Leo selves
insist that it’s too dear a price to pay.
As it turned out, not fitting in has proved to be one
of my greatest blessings. I remember thinking early on
that if I couldn’t fit in, I’d damn well make the best
of standing out. So I gave myself over completely to music
and later to writing, and in the end, a wonderful thing
happened: By standing out, I somehow managed to find
my place – to find love, acceptance, and friendship
on my own terms.
Every now and then, the odd Uranus transit or progressed
planet in Aquarius gives me a taste of what it’s like
to simply, effortlessly, belong – to take enjoyment and
energy from social connections. But when the transit passes
and I return to the social wilderness, I don’t mind. There
are creative treasures to be found there. I find myself
there.
With the Sun, Mars, Jupiter, Neptune, and the North Node
all in Aquarius at this Full Moon, collective identity
and common purpose are energized, to the extent that your
Leo self may be feeling a tad undernourished. And since
this Full Moon includes a Lunar Eclipse in Leo,
painful memories of creative, romantic, and social hurts
may be stirring. Rather than pushing these unhappy memories
hastily to one side, perhaps there’s something to be learned
from them.
Eclipses kick up ancient anthills and beg us to retrace
our steps, to unravel the thread that connects similar
moments in our lives. Look back, for instance, to 1984
and 1985; 1990; 1993 and 1994; and 2003. Where were
you, what were you were doing, and what was important
to you? You may remember creative breakthroughs,
and how those breakthroughs were received by others; situations
or relationships that brought you a gratifying sense of
belonging, or painful moments when it felt you
would never, ever fit in.
When eclipses fall in Aquarius and Leo, we’ve been asked
to remember what kind of fuel powers the engine of
our hearts - and to seek our place in the hearts of
others. If you’re feeling tired and stale, schedule some
time alone for creative play. If you’ve been feeling as
though you don’t belong anywhere, maybe it’s because you’re
trying to fit yourself into shapes that don’t suit you.
This Full Moon moment is an opportunity to step back for
a moment and get reacquainted with your passions – to
make your own kind of music, as the old song says - and
to trust that they will unite you with the people to whom
you truly belong.
