Tricksters
at the Wedding: Mercury, Venus, and Mars Retrograde
Mercury
Retrograde
December 26, 2009 - January 15,
2010
April 17 - May 11, 2010
August 20 - September 12, 2010
December
10 - 29, 2010
I don't consider Mercury's
retrograde periods to be astrological dealbreakers, wedding-wise; but I do think
they're less than ideal times to marry. Weddings are logistically complex, and
they depend upon wrangling a myriad of complicated details into a smooth, effortless-looking
production. When Mercury is retrograde (appearing to move backward in his orbit),
he is in his mischievous, trickster mode - misplacing keys, crossing the wires
of communication, and generally causing confusion. He is the foe of logistics,
planning, and linear thought. And it doesn't necessarily end with the wedding,
either. Believe me, I've seen couples wed when Mercury is retrograde and carry
this energy into their marriage like annoying toilet paper stuck to the bottom
of their shoes.
The moral of our story: Avoid marrying when
Mercury is retrograde, if you can. If you can't, my standard advice is to go over
everything at least twice: double-check all arrangements, verbally and in writing.
Place more than one person in charge of each task. Keep in mind, when putting
down deposits, that your plans are likely to change; minimize the damage where
possible. And remember to laugh.
Mars Retrograde December
20, 2009 - March 10, 2010
Mars is also retrograde as the
year begins. In a wedding chart, Mars symbolizes the way you handle conflict,
your approach to sexuality, and your ability to get things done as a couple. It
is also one of the primary symbols of the male partner in the marriage! Obviously,
it's optimal to marry when Mars is direct, as this suggests you will handle conflict
openly and assertively, be able to accomplish what you want to accomplish, and
have a pretty uncomplicated sex life. Plus, Mars direct reflects a male partner
who is confident, knows what he wants, and knows how to get it.
If you
do marry with Mars retrograde, it may indicate that you have some things to work
out in these areas of your relationship. It may reflect that, as individuals,
you have a more introspective, self-guided approach to such things. If you are
consciously devoted to non-violence, if your approach to sexuality does not conform
to social norms, if the male partner in your relationship has his own ideas about
masculinity that may set him apart from societal norms - marrying with Mars retrograde
may feel like a pretty good fit.
Venus Retrograde October
8 - November 18, 2010
I have few hard and fast rules about
wedding dates. I figure just about anything can work if both people are conscious
and willing to work out their issues. On one point, however, I am intractable:
Thou shalt not wed when Venus is retrograde! (At least, not when I'm choosing
the date!)
Retrograde periods when a planet appears to be moving backward
in the sky, are times to reflect upon the matters represented by the planet, not
to initiate action. Venus is the planet that rules marriage. Every planet makes
its contribution to a happy marriage, of course, but Venus is specifically linked,
through centuries of astrological tradition, to the institution. It should be
as strongly placed in the wedding chart as possible - and that includes avoiding
Venus Retrograde.
If you find yourself planning your wedding for a time
when Venus is retrograde, heed the wisdom of the retrograde, which urges you to
take a second look at your reasons for choosing to marry this person, at
this time, and in this way. Venus is retrograde for only forty days every eighteen
months; you can almost always wait for it to turn direct.
If you have
already scheduled your wedding for a date when Venus is retrograde, and you
can't change the date, it's especially important to engage in this kind of introspection.
It could be an empowering opportunity to unveil hidden problems in your relationship
and to heal them. While I would never advise someone to marry when Venus is retrograde,
there are couples that do, and many go on to lead long and happy lives together.
In my opinion, doing the introspective relationship work symbolized by Venus in
retrograde gives you a better chance to be one of them.
